Turning Pro: Lessons Learnt on My Journey to Become a Professional Photographer
The creative path is not a straightforward one to follow. It is uniquely challenging for every courageous soul who decides to walk it. Even now, seven years in, after achieving things I never thought possible in such a timeframe, I find myself in the middle of an identity crisis, questioning my choices, and plotting a course for a new destination. It seems as though my soul longs to exist in the unknown.
I have been walking my path for seven years, and I have learnt a great deal in a relatively short period of time. Much of my purpose is tied to giving back to the world in various ways, and turning around regularly to offer my hand to others who might be walking beside me. Therefore, I have written this article to provide some insights into what it is like to pursue a purpose-driven career as an artist. I hope it will inspire you — and prepare you — as you continue to forge your own creative path.
Building on Rocky Foundations
My creative journey began with stubborn self-belief and a calling from deep within that was almost impossible to make sense out of. At the time, I was working a secure and comfortable job with a company car, a promise of a healthy end-of-year bonus, and almost enough money saved to put down a deposit on my first home. I naively left it all behind and decided to follow my dream with no guaranteed income streams in place, no contacts in the photography business world, and a small online audience whom I had assumed would happily part with their money to buy prints, sign up for workshops, and support me in living the life of my dreams. I learnt quickly that building a business wasn’t that simple; becoming an artist, even less so.
As artists, we are often led by emotion and intuition. These two mysterious forces are difficult to understand. In our logical thought-dominant Western world, these forces are even more difficult to communicate effectively. That is why many artists, historically, have been infamously labelled as ‘crazy’. We are in touch with the soul, and the soul has long been misunderstood and neglected in the egocentric world. We talk about thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that are incredibly abstract and don’t adhere to the common curriculum. Therefore, we often face challenges when trying to find our place in the rigid structure of society.
My journey to get ‘here’ — owning a creative business that is showing many hopeful signs of thriving — has taught me a great deal and instilled in me two powerful traits in particular: patience and resilience. Admittedly, I had somewhat romanticised life as a photographer. I couldn’t foresee the messy reality of setting up a business from scratch, having never done so before. Of course, setting up a business in any field requires a person to face many challenges and find ways to overcome them — and themselves — along the way. The challenges that face those who pursue business in a creative field, however, are compounded by the fact that they are usually heavily emotionally invested and driven by a deep sense of purpose that results from their personal, lived experience. When we tie too much of our self-worth to our work as artists, it can be damaging when our work isn’t recognised in the ways that we might wish.
Grit & Personal Growth
There have been testing times throughout my journey to become a photographer. I quickly learnt during the opening chapter of my journey to turn pro that money soon runs out when you aren’t making any. It has taken me nearly five years to begin building the sort of consistency required to sleep peacefully at night. Through this journey, I have tiptoed back into part-time employment, packing honey in a factory, mixing cement, delivering fast food, and doing other little jobs when times have been testing. Those times have sure as hell come, and they have severely tested my resilience and the belief that I have in my creative vision. I believe I’m almost through the darkness now, and I am a much stronger version of myself for having weathered the storms that one will inevitably face on the artist’s path. I have gritted my teeth and braced, proving to myself how resilient I can be in pursuit of what my heart yearns for.
Transcending Ego
I remember submitting my first photograph to a prestigious landscape photography competition back in 2020. It was a photograph I was incredibly proud of; one of the first I had created that had any real quality. Or so I believed, at least. The photograph was a complete flop in the competition. It didn’t even make it through the first round. I remember feeling resentment towards all the judges, and especially the competition’s founder. I found his website and began criticising all his work. I was angry. My ego had been bruised.
Truth is, I had been so wrapped up in my own creative world of thoughts and feelings for a while. In hindsight, I had become a little self-absorbed after two years of obsessively creating photographs and reflecting upon my life experiences to understand myself and the events that shaped me. The competition ‘failure’ was one of the best things to happen to me at that stage of my photographic journey. The perceived ‘rejection’ had completely humbled me. After becoming upset and reactive for a short while, I realised the depths of my wounds. I saw that I was seeking validation from the external world and approval from the judges and the competition’s founder. I was trying to make up for something that was missing within.
This experience encouraged me to ask some thought-provoking questions of myself. ‘Why am I doing this?’ I would ask. ‘What is my purpose with this creativity?’ It was by answering these reflective questions that I began to realise there was a much greater purpose than my own healing and self-realisation. Of course, those things were, and still are, important to me, and probably always will be. But, through this introspective process, I learnt to understand and articulate what that meant for the greater good of humankind. I found a greater purpose that transcended my own. That is why I find myself in the void of the unknown once again as I shift my focus to creative mentoring, working closely with people who want to make more meaning and find new purpose through their own photography.
Growing up, I struggled with what might be labelled as ‘toxic perfectionism’. My desire for perfection was at its most intense when I played football. It was so great that, at times, it became self-destructive. I am told by my family that I would hit myself on the head whenever I made a mistake on the football pitch: a misplaced pass, a miscontrolled ball, or a shot that missed the target were all things that could result in my self-destruction. My perfectionist tendencies still exist, only now, I channel them into my art with an understanding that photography, like all art, is subjective. There is no clear outcome; no winning or losing, as there was when I stepped foot onto the football pitch. With this understanding, the creative process becomes more important than any results in competitions or awards.
Who We Become is the Ultimate Reward
The reward of the creative journey, I have learnt, is not in the results or what we accrue along the way, but who we get to be in the world as a result of having walked it. In a recent workshop that I delivered alongside my Finding Light exhibition, I collaborated with the charity GISDA and a group of young adults over six weeks, introducing them to my creative practice, encouraging their engagement with Nature, and helping them express themselves in a safe environment. The young people explored the woodland at Plas Glyn y Weddw in search of self-expressive photographs, engaging in reflective conversation with each other, and writing in their journals to apply meaning and gain further understanding of their work and themselves. I was praised regularly throughout the project by attendees and GISDA staff for my non-judgmental approach, patience, and deep presence, which allowed the unfolding of the attendees’ true selves. I was told on more than one occasion that I would make an excellent arts therapist.
These words, for me, were far more meaningful than any result in a competition, awards, or accolades could have ever been. Since I took my first enthusiastic steps into the world of Nature in 2018, I have noticed an incredible transformation within my own body and mind. My world then was shaped by episodes of domestic abuse and violence. I was surrounded by chaos and destruction for the first eleven years of my life. Throughout my teenage years and early adulthood, I was lost in the world, drifting aimlessly with no direction or hope for the future. I drank alcohol, partied as I searched for my place to belong, and buried much of my inherited stresses and anxieties beneath layers of a false self. That, sadly, is a cycle that many young men fall into when they are guided by the kind of father figures I had.
Thankfully, I took a spoonful of bittersweet medicine at the age of twenty-six, experiencing my first romantic heartbreak. Following a short period of depression, I awoke from my slumber and wandered outdoors, finding the sanctuary that I had long been searching for. Through a long healing process, whilst cradled in the arms of the trees, I became one of them. My now-life partner refers to me as her tree, informing me that I am the embodiment of their energy: strong, grounded, stable, and rooted. I became everything my three father figures were not.
As I conclude this piece of writing, I am reminded of the words a friend shared with me recently, whilst we were hiking to the summit of Cnicht. After telling him about some of my struggles with creative motivation following the end of my first creative chapter, he uttered, ‘Maybe you’re the art now.’ Those few simple words, delivered with impeccable timing in a moment of need, were a reminder of the power of spending time with the landscape, immersed in the creative process, on the quest to find presence and experience this existence fully.
Beyond all awards, accolades, recognition, and achievements, this is the greatest lesson I have learnt on my journey to turning pro: who we become through the creative journey is the real reward. I vow to never lose sight of that.