In Service
A few weeks ago, I was invited onto Neale James’ brilliant The Photowalk podcast to share my story of healing and transformation through the lens of my camera. Neale was a wonderful host and helped to guide the conversation to some interesting places, opening me up with his thoughtful questions and his warm & welcoming energy and approach.
It was a thoroughly enjoyable hour or so that left me feeling incredibly excited and deeply grateful for yet another opportunity to share my story with the ultimate intention of offering hope and a source of inspiration in a world that, at times, feels as though it is overshadowed by hopelessness and helplessness.
Naturally, the conversation gravitated towards many topics outside of the immediate field of landscape photography. One of the key themes that emerged was the idea of service, and being in service to something through the lens of my camera — something greater than myself.
One of man’s greatest challenges in life is finding something to serve that transcends his egocentric service to his own wants, needs, and desires here on earth. Finding this something, it might be said, is what initiates a man into his mature masculinity — giving him a sense of purpose that makes his life worth living. When he has a purpose and lives in a state of service, he finds his place here on the earth and truly belongs in the great orchestra of existence. In this place, he willingly submits to the composer, safe in the knowledge that the music must be made in the ultimate act of creation.
I take great pride in the fact that I have indeed found — or, rather, forged for myself — a powerful purpose on this earth. I am in service to creativity — ‘God’, as it might be known in our limited Western language. I share my photographs and writings now, not as a selfish pursuit of fame nor fortune, but in selfless service to this unseen force that can be felt in all beings and heard through the whispers of the landscape.
When, at times, I lose sight of the light source and feel resistance to writing my seemingly self-absorbed ‘I’-centred essays, I gently remind myself of the pain and the grief that moulded me and shaped my creative vision — no longer a vision for my own life, but for the world in which I am just one humble musician making my music. The same pain and grief have moulded countless others — some of them simply unaware how deep this wellspring runs and how necessary it is that we revisit these core wounds that unite and bind us all if we are to heal and collectively return to the frequency of love together.
Where my I’s once, perhaps, came from a need of my own to be heard in a futile attempt to make up for feeling less than that once upon a time, now, they come from a place of necessity, having grown in understanding of the needs of the world at large and many of the people within it. If we are to heal collectively and succeed in our pursuit of peace and our quest to return to a steady state of love, then our greatest hope is in the gift of authentic expression. This is how we release trapped energy and emotions. This is how we prevent much of our sickness from manifesting — spiritually and physically. This is how we mould the world that so many of us have been dreaming of.
When we serve a worthy cause, the act of giving alone fills our cups. It is as though we are offering to the deepest part of ourselves — the spirit within is nourished with every act of service. Many people will spend their entire lives complaining of tiredness, lethargy, and energetic depletion. What, I ask, are the gods they are serving? And is this service through a conscious choice of their own?
This life calls for one thing from us: relentless devotion to that which we love. Such devotion is what makes a life worth living. To be truly devoted to something is to place it above everything in its importance, including our own egocentric wants, needs, and desires, which, if left unchecked, could land us in a prison of our own creation. This, I have observed, is where many people choose to remain: tired, depleted, and resentful towards the world for making them what they are. We have two choices in this life: we can either stay stuck in a state of self-pity and resentment, or we can embody our courage and step out into the light of day to find something to serve that is higher than ourselves and our egos.
What was once a hobby and a self-serving passion has rapidly evolved into something much larger than that; a purpose that is often incomprehensible to my logical mind, but something that my soul intuitively knows at the deepest level. My greatest devotion is to the formless spirit of Mother Nature, which heals, nourishes, and cleanses all life. My service, then, extends to the great Mother as well as the force of creativity itself; our innate god-given power through which spirit comes into form.
As I sit here writing this in the living room of my Mothers house in Welshpool, I am looking at around 15 framed photographs stacked in front of me that have been stored here since the end of my Finding Light exhibition at Plas Glyn-y-Weddw in July. These are the physical manifestations of my period of relentless service to the spirit of Nature. I recall some of the wonderful comments I received from so many people throughout the seven-week showing in Llanbedrog that signalled the impact the photographs — and my accompanying heartfelt words — had on them.
I was informed afterwards that as many as 20,000 people might have seen my work on display — numbers that might once have inflated a less tamed version of my ego. My relationship with Nature — and an initiatory period of service which has, at times, been a real struggle — has ensured my feet have remained well and truly on the ground throughout, and my ego has stayed well under control. As I have forged a purpose for myself, so my purpose has been forging me in preparation for the long path that lies ahead.
As many people around me seem intent on dividing themselves and making enemies of one another recently, I am reminded of the importance of unity within my creative philosophies — unity that must first be created within each of us, if we are to ever see it mirrored in our collective outer experience. My period of service to the spirit of Nature and creativity has bred exactly that: a unity between the feminine and masculine energies within. In our collective pursuit of peace, love, and harmony here on earth, I hope for nothing else but to inspire many more people to find this unity within themselves by surrendering to a state of relentless service to a force that is greater than the self.